Confessions of a Wannabe Marketer

Posted in Marketing & Strategy Articles, Total Reads: 2505 , Published on 26 March 2013
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Enlightening, pivotal, momentous – an MBA journey is memorable in multiple ways. Amongst the myriad specialisations present in the B-School universe today, marketing discipline has not only weathered the torrent of recession, globalisation and liberalisation, but has metamorphosed itself into a revered and indispensable function. Even management guru, Peter F. Drucker has noted that “Business has only two functions – marketing and innovation”.

But the path to achieve the marketing nirvana is rife with ambiguity and is surrounded by a web of jargon. The poem below is an attempt to capture the joy and challenge of traversing the labyrinthine world of marketing.

A fateful day on my evening stroll

When that thinker did the talking

 

The unanswered thought that started to roll

"What after all is your ultimate goal?”

 

Catalysing the career evolution

I joined the MBA revolution

 

In the rock-n-roll of perfect targeting

Embracing the profound universe of Marketing

 

Until an insider blew the gaffe

"Bring on that smile and get ready to faff"

 

Life cycle, positioning and all things grand

Struggling eternally to define a brand

 

Psychographic segments made me fluster

And then I got introduced to a cluster

 

Marketing survey aggravated my despair

By bringing in its pal - the questionnaire

 

Profs empathised and assured solace

"Hang on. Everything will fall into place."

 

But I was being set for a bigger trap

To display my finesse through a perceptual map

 

Determined I'd come too far to fail

I took a cue from The Long Tail

 

Deploying the ultimate learning in B-School

Administering on my team the 80:20 rule

 

Setting the learning wheels in motion

I took a swim in The Blue Ocean

 

Followed by some zest and zing

Experiencing portfolio of offerings

 

Alas, came the exposition

Assessment of my value proposition

 

I said, "It a case exam, we'll kill it"

But all it required was exhibit

 

Reading the questions I wondered "how”?

All I could remember was The Purple Cow

 

Sweating, panicking, praying a release

I brought to my rescue the good old 4Ps

 

So the effort was not in total vain

A clever deployment of The Right Brain

 

Now confident, convincing, smarter and witty

I've grown manifolds my Brand Equity

 

Invoking the deep metaphor of connection

I view these concepts with affection

 

With the skill to interpret endless abstraction

I am now the king of customer satisfaction

This poem has been authored by Inderpreet Bedi from S P Jain School of Global Management.


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